Auditing department

I never thought I could be so bugged when I have been out and away from the church for the better part of three years. Unfortunately, conference always brings it out in me.

During conference, we have an unknown man get up and read a letter from the church auditing department. They tell us that this unknown department is independent from all other areas of the church. This mythical auditing department, populated (we are told) with capable and certified individuals, have access to all financial records of the church. (I find this hard to believe since the church hasn't been open with its finances for the better part of a century.) The auditing department has evaluated the finances of the church based on policies that are unknown, and procedures that any member of the church do not have access to.

Why are the church finances all fine and righteous? Because an unseen and unknown "department" of the church tells us so through a letter read in general conference!

Keep in mind that in recent years, the church has done a lot of back peddling, saying "not everything said over the pulpit is doctrine or true." So what is? Reminds me of the song, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so." It stretches credulity to imagine that the only historical record we have of Jesus should be the source of all knowledge. How do we know that Jesus exists? Well, the bible says so! How do we know he died for our sins? The bible says! How do we know the bible is true? Well, silly, the bible tells us it's true!

So, how do we know the church isn't spending BILLIONS of dollars on a fucking MALL in downtown Salt Lake while faithful saints are paying their tithing and going without and suffering in this economic downturn? Well, silly, we know that the church is spending their money righteously because they say so! Well, then, I guess I was stupid to even ask.