I think that teaching girls that they are less than boys is damaging. I think that putting all girls into a one-size-fits-all box creates a culture in which girls do not have all the knowledge and information that they should. I am not saying that the church doesn't do this to everyone accross the board. I'm not saying that the church doesn't have other damaging aspects. I'm not saying that the church is all bad for every female everywhere.
What I'm trying to do with this young women's series is demonstrate a systematic approach on the part of the church (whether it's conscious or unconscious, whether it's god directed, or man made) to delegate young women to a very specific role. The party line is that the church values women the same as men, that women might even be more righteous, that women can have a career and education.
I disagree. I don't think the practices or the materials of the church advocate a variety of values or lifestyles. I think it is constricting, and anyone who doesn't fall into the 'right' pattern is subject to self and institutional guilt.
Find the complete unaltered text here.
Elder M. Russell Ballard counseled, “Teachers would be well advised to study carefully the scriptures and their manuals before reaching out for supplemental materials. Far too many teachers seem to stray from the approved curriculum materials without fully reviewing them. If teachers feel a need to use some good supplemental resources beyond the scriptures and manuals in presenting a lesson, they should first consider the use of the Church magazines”
Of course, no manual would be complete without an admonition to not read other sources. The church is heavy into control of information; if you don't find what you need in the approved cirricula, you are not looking hard enough. And if you HAVE to go outside our counsel, use this pre-approved and carefully edited alternative.
Unit teaching involves repetition, in-depth study, and learning about related principles until they are understood and applied daily. They are serious about the repetition. You will learn how to be a better homemaker 20 times in the year.
Lessons:
Living as a Daughter of God
There is a song about being a daughter of god, admonishing that if we only remembered who we were, we would "walk tall" and "be strong," and other vaguely positive things. And if you are a daughter of god, you don't want to disappoint him; I imagine heavenly parental guilt is epic.
Fulfilling Women’s Divine Roles
Read: Motherhood. Be a wife and a mother. Your divine role is not to be self-actualized, it is not to be happy: your goal and path is wife and mother. Period. End of story.
Contributing to Family Life
Read: support your husband. Because you can't have a family if you are not a wife and mother. See above.
Learning about the Priesthood
...which is more important than anything you have. Woman are taught to read the male culture but not the other way around.
Sometimes a young woman may give the correct answer in her own words without turning to the passage of scripture. When this occurs, ask additional questions to get her to read the scripture; for example, “How did Paul say it?” or “What additional insights can we gain from this passage?” Before you can get the young women excited about searching the scriptures, you must become excited about them yourself. Prepare yourself through in-depth study, prayer, and meditation on those passages you expect class members to read and discuss.
This very nearly made me shit a brick. I checked the young men's manual, only to find nothing remotely similar. Make sure that the young woman knows that what she thinks, how SHE says things, is not as important as an authority greater than herself.
Lesson Application. This is a suggestion for a specific plan of action, assignment, or goal to help each young woman use the discussed principle in her life. (When appropriate, you could provide time at the beginning of the next class period for the young women to share their experiences. You may stimulate this brief exchange by saying, “Last week we talked about ______________. Did you try it? How did you feel about it?” If the young women do not respond at first, you may say, “I tried it, and this was my experience.” By sharing your positive experiences, you can help the young women learn how to apply the principles in their lives.)
Please help us to take this lesson and apply it in our daily lives....
The best way to help each young woman is to help her learn and live the gospel. President Marion G. Romney counseled: “Learning the gospel from the written word, however, is not enough. It must also be lived. As a matter of fact, getting a knowledge of the gospel and living it are interdependent. They go hand in hand. One cannot fully learn the gospel without living it. A knowledge of the gospel comes by degrees: one learns a little, obeys what he learns; learns a little more and obeys that. This cycle continues in an endless round. Such is the pattern by which one can move on to a full knowledge of the gospel” (“Records of Great Worth,” Ensign, Sept. 1980, p. 4).
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Short Creek/Colorado City/Hilldale
The city so nice, they named it thrice. Short Creek is a little town right on the border between Utah and Arizona filled with fundamentalist mormons. It has recently become more popular because it was the home of Warren Jeffs for a while, and Under the Banner of Heaven talks a lot about the town and beliefs.
My boyfriend thinks mormonism in general is fascinating, and fundamental mormonism is beyond imagining, so we took a road trip down to southern Utah. We drove through a lot of nothing to get there (stopping off in Hurricane to visit their history museum), and turned off the main road just to drive around. Mark immediately pulled out his camera and started taking pictures.
Each house was oversized, like obviously oversized. And all were unfinished: an unpainted wall here, a partially built add on there. It's something to do with the taxes... you can't tax and unfinished house, so every building in Short Creek is perpetually under construction. The walls around the houses (compounds?) were all at least 10 feet tall. Some even looked like fortresses.
Mark stopped to get gas, and I took a perverse pleasure getting out and cleaning the windsheild IN A TANK TOP. I also went inside to get a drink, and it wasn't until I was walking out that I saw the sign: no shoes, no shirt, no service--T-SHIRT MINIMUM.
We stopped at the local eatery to get lunch, and this time I threw on a sweater. I respect the fact that a shoulder apparently sends the FLDS into a frenzy of lust. Mark got a Navajo taco (his first time eating one. Crazy New Yorkers), and I got a club that was A LOT of sandwich. We spent some time people watching.
The most obvious thing is the amount of skin that is to be covered. The fundamentalist mormons didn't alter the garment of the holy priesthood since JS originally designed it, so their underwear goes to their wrists and to their ankles. It used to be that children and those not yet married could get away with to the knees and t-shirts, but some over-zealous prophet (Rulon? Warren?) decided that children too must be modest. This means that in the heat of the Arizona/Utah sun, men are in button down long sleeve shirts, and the women are in long skirts with pants (PANTS!!!) underneath.
The next most obvious thing is the hair. All women wear a single braid down their back, with a bump in the front. The higher the hair, the closer to god. The women all have the same look, and even the young ones are carrying children (their kids, or younger siblings? It's hard to tell).
It was commodities day, so families lined up at the local (church? community center? watering hole?) to gather things like food and toiletries. Oversized vehicles filled the street in front of the area, and bored children tried to entertain themselves or escape the heat.
The city of Short Creek is surreal for a lot of reasons, not the least of which that a half step to the right, mormonism could be fundamentalism, and I could have been one of those women.
Young womens values part 5: Choice and accountability
With my new-found atheist viewpoint, I find this value the most ironic. Perhaps the most foundational tenents of the gospel is obedience, be ye as a little child. Submit to god (read: the church) as a child submits to his father.
The idea of choice and accountability actually goes against practices in the church. THe church is designed to take those choices away from you: you make the choice to be in the church, and you never have to think about another decision ever again. The answers are already laid out. There is no extenuating circumstances that allow you to drink alcohol; no reason for you to drink coffee. You CANNOT be alone in a car with a member of the opposite sex from the ward (even if you are both grown-ass adults). Every decision possible has an answer; if you don't have an answer, consult your bishop, and he will get on his batphone to god and tell you what to do.
The church teaches it's members this polarized, absolutest value system, but follows a flexible, situational morality itself. Members are accountable to the extent that any given priesthood authority decides they are; the church, however, is infallible. Any "sinning" member will be brought before a court of love (read: kangaroo court) to be tried and sentenced, their eternal soul hanging in the balance. In this court, priesthood authorities can ask whatever questions they'd like, probe for more information, bring in any witness who recognizes their authority, confer, exclude the accused, ignore the accused, disregard proof, find someone guilty based on their discernment and the spirit that god gives them. That doesn't work both ways--members are not supposed to ask questions, look into the history, inquire, probe, test, analyze, read, study, draw conclusions based on evidence. I was told that facts don't convert you: the spirit converts you. You can't reason yourself into the church. I always heard (and said, god help me), "if I wasn't born into the church, I never would have converted. God knew me well enough to put me into the church so that I could be a believer and be saved."
Mormons are required to disclose financial information; the church hasn't disclosed finances for half a century. The church demands money from its members, but access to the church welfare system can be as fickle as the bishop's mood. The church feels free to take time, talents, money from its members, based on the needs of the church; members are not allowed to chose what works in their life and what doesn't.
The church teaches that one size fits all. There is one path, one way, one life. It's the straight and narrow, praying to god, following jesus' example. THere is no concession made for culture, situation, preference, learning styles, etc etc etc. The church points out that the church is the perfect democracy, discriminating against no one because everyone is treated the same. Or they are discriminating against everyone equally; I'm not sure this is a strong position to argue from. There is no choice, no catering to the needs of the people. The members are there for the church, for the spiritual/temporal needs of the church, not the other way around.
In the church, you can really turn your mind off. This has been the most apparent to me as I go back with my new perspective:
I am 22, called as the stake single's representative. I joke that it is because if it wasn't my calling, I wouldn't go. I hate it.
I walk into sacrament meeting, walk past the wooden benches filled with screaming kids, interchangeably blank women, men in their suits getting their back scratched by their loving wife/girlfriend. Kids pass notes or color or lay on the floor or glaze over at the monotony. I go to the raised stand, where only the bishopric regularly sits (if there is a woman on the stand, she is either there for a time-bound purpose like giving a talk, or she is the chorister or pianist. Men lead the meetings; women lead the music... under the direction of the men).
I sit down, and look out over the congregation, trying to catch someone's eye; it's harder than I expect. People tend to look anywhere but the speaker, do anything but listen. During my talk, all my jokes don't even get a courtesy laugh (apply your sin screen both regularly and liberally).
I sit in my young single adults class. The teachers are young and rich and righteous, displaying all the necessary children and financial success. He will eventually become a bishop. The answer to every question is pray or obey the prophet or read your scriptures or pay your tithing or listen to the spirit. It's a running joke in the church, that read your scriptures and go to church are always the answer; no one thinks about the disturbing implications of the undeniable pattern.
The answer is never to do things differently; the answer is to do it MORE. If you find the temple ceremony disturbing or uncomfortable, go do a session more often, every week until you get spiritual enlightenment from it. If you don't believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet, read the Book of Mormon until you do. If you don't believe in the prophet's mandate that you not watch rated R movies, don't watch rated R movies until you get a testimony of it. If you don't believe that your priesthood authorities can mandate your sexuality, accept their sexual mandates until you do believe it. "You will never get a testimony of something until you do it."
Thinking is not required in regurgitation, but there is nothing else required by the church. You don't even have to be able to articulate it; you just have to do it. It wasn't until I stopped paying my tithing that the church came to find me.
This follow the prophet mentality isn't something outdated; it is something that is taught in general conference every session:
Watson--
>>Sometimes we may not always be able to immediately find the desired way before us, but the wisdom of those who have gone before, coupled with the wisdom of those who are with us still, will be our guide if we let them have the reins.
>>Important admonition has been given in general conferences of yesteryear and will continue to be expounded by those who have the wisdom of ages past, which allows our hearts to burn within us. It will be in following such counsel that we must be strong, never give up, and endure to the end.
>>“You may not like what comes from the authority of the Church. It may contradict your political views . . . [or] your social views. It may interfere with some of your social life. But if [we] listen to these things, as if from the mouth of the Lord himself, with patience and faith, the promise is that . . . ‘the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory’.”
Teixeira--
>>like other faculties, our consciences may become inert through sin or misuse.9 If we become desensitized to the things of God in our lives, we too lose reception of the signal needed to guide us. Keeping the commandments is our best assurance to maintain a strong signal with the Divine.
>>as we abide by the teachings we have received, we will make good choices, we will not be lost, and we will reach our eternal home...
Stevenson--
>>As Church members, we have recently received counsel from modern-day prophets which, if followed, will turn the doors of our homes more fully towards the temple.
>>the Lord has established standards through His servants, the prophets.
Oaks--
>>Some say “I didn’t learn anything today” or “No one was friendly to me” or “I was offended” or “The Church is not filling my needs.” All those answers are self-centered, and all retard spiritual growth.
>>when anyone obtains any blessing from God, it is by obedience to the law on which that blessing is predicated.
Snow--
>>First, follow the prophets. Listen to and abide by the counsel of the Brethren. Prophets often raise a voice of warning but also provide steady, pragmatic counsel to help us weather the storms of life. In the opening section of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord reminds us, “Whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same” (D&C 1:38). Prophets help us confront the changes and challenges we constantly face. The popular Primary song “Follow the Prophet”reminds us of this important principle: “We can get direction all along our way, if we heed the prophets—follow what they say” (Children’s Songbook, 110).
Then mormons have the gall to say that mormons can think for themselves, that they are encouraged to pray and receive their own revelations. Mormons will tell you that there isn't an emphasis on following the prophets, that they make their OWN choices instead of the choices and decisions already laid out for them. Mormons will look right at me and say, "you think that the prophets try to dictate your decisions? Well, that's because you lost the spirit and you are wrong and an apostate. I make my own decisions."
Choice also plays into this elitist mindset (please see CTR posts here and here). Mormons believe that they are a choice people. Jews used to be chosen, but now that chosen status goes to the mormons. They are the best of the best, the generals of the war in heaven. If we could just remember who you were, you would never chose to sin.
Mormons don't see that their teachings about satan reflect very closely the practices of the church. Mormons see satan's great sin NOT as wanting to be like god (the great miltonion sin), but his desire to take away our choice. Satan wanted to MAKE us all obey god so we would all go back to heaven. This was unforgivable and satan was cast out.
There is one lesson that my father loves to teach. He calls a smart, punk-ass kid up and has him look at a pair of handcuffs. Asks the kid if he could get away. Smiling and scoffing for his friends, he says of course. Dad has the kid lay his hand in the cuffs; what about now? Yes. Dad half closes the cuffs. Now? Sure. Let's the metal touch metal surrounding the kids wrist. How about now? Yes. One click: now? Yeah. Another click: can you still get out? It might hurt a little, but yes. Dad slams the cuffs closed, and twists the kid's arm up behind him. Dad asks the crowd: when did I have him? Various answers are shouted from the crowd, and from the humbled kid trying not to whimper, trying to look tough while he is helpless. I had him when he chose to come up here.
That is how satan gets you. He is conniving, and he has you at your FIRST bad decision. Another object lesson involves the thread: same thing, just with wrapping thread around your hands, showing how after so many bad decisions, the sheer accumulation makes it impossible to escape. That's how addiction is evil: it takes away your decisions, mimics satan's plan. Satan is behind all addictions.
Yet mormons cannot see that same inability to choose inherent in my general conference quotes above, in their practices, in everything they do. The scriptures say that where two people get together in the name of god, god is in the midst of them; I say that wherever two or more mormons gather, there in the midst is an analysis-free zone, reflecting in the blankness in their eyes, the ability to not listen, but to say "pray and follow the prophet" when called upon for an answer.
The idea of choice and accountability actually goes against practices in the church. THe church is designed to take those choices away from you: you make the choice to be in the church, and you never have to think about another decision ever again. The answers are already laid out. There is no extenuating circumstances that allow you to drink alcohol; no reason for you to drink coffee. You CANNOT be alone in a car with a member of the opposite sex from the ward (even if you are both grown-ass adults). Every decision possible has an answer; if you don't have an answer, consult your bishop, and he will get on his batphone to god and tell you what to do.
The church teaches it's members this polarized, absolutest value system, but follows a flexible, situational morality itself. Members are accountable to the extent that any given priesthood authority decides they are; the church, however, is infallible. Any "sinning" member will be brought before a court of love (read: kangaroo court) to be tried and sentenced, their eternal soul hanging in the balance. In this court, priesthood authorities can ask whatever questions they'd like, probe for more information, bring in any witness who recognizes their authority, confer, exclude the accused, ignore the accused, disregard proof, find someone guilty based on their discernment and the spirit that god gives them. That doesn't work both ways--members are not supposed to ask questions, look into the history, inquire, probe, test, analyze, read, study, draw conclusions based on evidence. I was told that facts don't convert you: the spirit converts you. You can't reason yourself into the church. I always heard (and said, god help me), "if I wasn't born into the church, I never would have converted. God knew me well enough to put me into the church so that I could be a believer and be saved."
Mormons are required to disclose financial information; the church hasn't disclosed finances for half a century. The church demands money from its members, but access to the church welfare system can be as fickle as the bishop's mood. The church feels free to take time, talents, money from its members, based on the needs of the church; members are not allowed to chose what works in their life and what doesn't.
The church teaches that one size fits all. There is one path, one way, one life. It's the straight and narrow, praying to god, following jesus' example. THere is no concession made for culture, situation, preference, learning styles, etc etc etc. The church points out that the church is the perfect democracy, discriminating against no one because everyone is treated the same. Or they are discriminating against everyone equally; I'm not sure this is a strong position to argue from. There is no choice, no catering to the needs of the people. The members are there for the church, for the spiritual/temporal needs of the church, not the other way around.
In the church, you can really turn your mind off. This has been the most apparent to me as I go back with my new perspective:
I am 22, called as the stake single's representative. I joke that it is because if it wasn't my calling, I wouldn't go. I hate it.
I walk into sacrament meeting, walk past the wooden benches filled with screaming kids, interchangeably blank women, men in their suits getting their back scratched by their loving wife/girlfriend. Kids pass notes or color or lay on the floor or glaze over at the monotony. I go to the raised stand, where only the bishopric regularly sits (if there is a woman on the stand, she is either there for a time-bound purpose like giving a talk, or she is the chorister or pianist. Men lead the meetings; women lead the music... under the direction of the men).
I sit down, and look out over the congregation, trying to catch someone's eye; it's harder than I expect. People tend to look anywhere but the speaker, do anything but listen. During my talk, all my jokes don't even get a courtesy laugh (apply your sin screen both regularly and liberally).
I sit in my young single adults class. The teachers are young and rich and righteous, displaying all the necessary children and financial success. He will eventually become a bishop. The answer to every question is pray or obey the prophet or read your scriptures or pay your tithing or listen to the spirit. It's a running joke in the church, that read your scriptures and go to church are always the answer; no one thinks about the disturbing implications of the undeniable pattern.
The answer is never to do things differently; the answer is to do it MORE. If you find the temple ceremony disturbing or uncomfortable, go do a session more often, every week until you get spiritual enlightenment from it. If you don't believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet, read the Book of Mormon until you do. If you don't believe in the prophet's mandate that you not watch rated R movies, don't watch rated R movies until you get a testimony of it. If you don't believe that your priesthood authorities can mandate your sexuality, accept their sexual mandates until you do believe it. "You will never get a testimony of something until you do it."
Thinking is not required in regurgitation, but there is nothing else required by the church. You don't even have to be able to articulate it; you just have to do it. It wasn't until I stopped paying my tithing that the church came to find me.
This follow the prophet mentality isn't something outdated; it is something that is taught in general conference every session:
Watson--
>>Sometimes we may not always be able to immediately find the desired way before us, but the wisdom of those who have gone before, coupled with the wisdom of those who are with us still, will be our guide if we let them have the reins.
>>Important admonition has been given in general conferences of yesteryear and will continue to be expounded by those who have the wisdom of ages past, which allows our hearts to burn within us. It will be in following such counsel that we must be strong, never give up, and endure to the end.
>>“You may not like what comes from the authority of the Church. It may contradict your political views . . . [or] your social views. It may interfere with some of your social life. But if [we] listen to these things, as if from the mouth of the Lord himself, with patience and faith, the promise is that . . . ‘the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory’.”
Teixeira--
>>like other faculties, our consciences may become inert through sin or misuse.9 If we become desensitized to the things of God in our lives, we too lose reception of the signal needed to guide us. Keeping the commandments is our best assurance to maintain a strong signal with the Divine.
>>as we abide by the teachings we have received, we will make good choices, we will not be lost, and we will reach our eternal home...
Stevenson--
>>As Church members, we have recently received counsel from modern-day prophets which, if followed, will turn the doors of our homes more fully towards the temple.
>>the Lord has established standards through His servants, the prophets.
Oaks--
>>Some say “I didn’t learn anything today” or “No one was friendly to me” or “I was offended” or “The Church is not filling my needs.” All those answers are self-centered, and all retard spiritual growth.
>>when anyone obtains any blessing from God, it is by obedience to the law on which that blessing is predicated.
Snow--
>>First, follow the prophets. Listen to and abide by the counsel of the Brethren. Prophets often raise a voice of warning but also provide steady, pragmatic counsel to help us weather the storms of life. In the opening section of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord reminds us, “Whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same” (D&C 1:38). Prophets help us confront the changes and challenges we constantly face. The popular Primary song “Follow the Prophet”reminds us of this important principle: “We can get direction all along our way, if we heed the prophets—follow what they say” (Children’s Songbook, 110).
Then mormons have the gall to say that mormons can think for themselves, that they are encouraged to pray and receive their own revelations. Mormons will tell you that there isn't an emphasis on following the prophets, that they make their OWN choices instead of the choices and decisions already laid out for them. Mormons will look right at me and say, "you think that the prophets try to dictate your decisions? Well, that's because you lost the spirit and you are wrong and an apostate. I make my own decisions."
Choice also plays into this elitist mindset (please see CTR posts here and here). Mormons believe that they are a choice people. Jews used to be chosen, but now that chosen status goes to the mormons. They are the best of the best, the generals of the war in heaven. If we could just remember who you were, you would never chose to sin.
Mormons don't see that their teachings about satan reflect very closely the practices of the church. Mormons see satan's great sin NOT as wanting to be like god (the great miltonion sin), but his desire to take away our choice. Satan wanted to MAKE us all obey god so we would all go back to heaven. This was unforgivable and satan was cast out.
There is one lesson that my father loves to teach. He calls a smart, punk-ass kid up and has him look at a pair of handcuffs. Asks the kid if he could get away. Smiling and scoffing for his friends, he says of course. Dad has the kid lay his hand in the cuffs; what about now? Yes. Dad half closes the cuffs. Now? Sure. Let's the metal touch metal surrounding the kids wrist. How about now? Yes. One click: now? Yeah. Another click: can you still get out? It might hurt a little, but yes. Dad slams the cuffs closed, and twists the kid's arm up behind him. Dad asks the crowd: when did I have him? Various answers are shouted from the crowd, and from the humbled kid trying not to whimper, trying to look tough while he is helpless. I had him when he chose to come up here.
That is how satan gets you. He is conniving, and he has you at your FIRST bad decision. Another object lesson involves the thread: same thing, just with wrapping thread around your hands, showing how after so many bad decisions, the sheer accumulation makes it impossible to escape. That's how addiction is evil: it takes away your decisions, mimics satan's plan. Satan is behind all addictions.
Yet mormons cannot see that same inability to choose inherent in my general conference quotes above, in their practices, in everything they do. The scriptures say that where two people get together in the name of god, god is in the midst of them; I say that wherever two or more mormons gather, there in the midst is an analysis-free zone, reflecting in the blankness in their eyes, the ability to not listen, but to say "pray and follow the prophet" when called upon for an answer.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Young womens values part 4: Knowledge
The glory of god is intelligence.
Mormons believe that before we existed in the pre-existence (a Miltonion place where we all floated around in our endless being), we were all intelligences. Mormons who are accused of being anti-intellectual point to the church owned schools, the high level of education of their leaders, the scriptures that advocate you to "seek ye knowledge out of the best books." Mormons can give you any number of general conference talks that say that you should go to school, educate yourself, "children will never recover from the ignorance of their mothers." Etc, etc, ad nauseum.
The church has this very divided view on knowledge. On the one hand, knowledge is good. In the stairwell at the BYU library, there is a quote that says "search ye out of the best books." The church teaches that "the glory of god is intelligence." Boys (sometimes, but not often, girls) are encouraged to go to school and get an education. When Joseph Smith got the first vision, he did so because he "lacked wisdom" and so asked god.
At the same time, too much knowledge is bad. After all, who determines the "best" books? I was told when I was in grad school that I shouldn't read that which disagrees with the church. Like what? Archeology that says the earth is older than 6,000 years? Evolutionary works? There is, after all, a lot that disagrees with the church.
Knowledge is also placed in opposition to, and greater than, faith. When you bear testimony (the act of getting up in front of others who believe as you do, and reaffirm your mutually held beliefs, you always say you "know." I know that god lives, I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet, I know that Thomas S. Monson is the prophet today.
However, there is another side to the story (I have a very personal relationship with that other side. I couldn't read that which disagreed with the church for a full year after I decided church was not for me. The thought of reading things about the church that were not approved and correlated filled me with an inexplicable dread. I was literally made sick). Mormonism has always had an anti intellectual streak. A country mile wide streak.
It begins innocently enough: it begins with feelings. You are taught that good feelings equals god telling you it's good, and bad feelings is god telling you it's wrong. Or that good feeling is satan trying to pull you away, and bad feeling is godly guilt so that you can repent. From the time you are very little, you are taught that feeling trumps all, trumps fact and history and your brain and your soul. It doesn't matter that Joseph Smith was a lying pedophile: I feel that he was a true prophet of god. It doesn't matter that the fictionalized history of The Work and the Glory says NOTHING about the polygamy that was rampant in the church, and the lies and the struggles and the contradictions and the unhappy women and children resultant from horny men claiming revelation and god and holiness in their desire to bed multiple women: when I read the book, I feel good, so it must be true. This is the "I know" of mormonism.
That means that when you are presented with facts, facts that contradict your "knowledge" of the gospel, you feel bad. When presented with court documents of Joseph Smith being a convicted con man, you feel bad. When you read that all the "explanations" of polygamy are deeply flawed, you feel awful. When you research the Pearl of Great Price, and hear what Egyptologists say about it, you feel personally attacked. You feel your world coming apart. And that is just god's way of telling you that it is bad and untrue, and you should pray more and pay your tithing, and put all that disturbing stuff out of your mind.
I did. I did for a long time. I would defend the church. I believed that polygamy really didn't matter. I believed that my bishop knew better than I did. I believed my search for knowledge was going to lead me straight to hell. I believed that I was the problem, that I was a sinner for even daring to ask the questions.
Of course, my belief was reinforced by centuries of anti-intellectual reinforcement:
What is true is not always useful
The three greatest threats to the church are feminists, homosexuals, and so-called intellectuals
Once the prophet speaks, the thinking has been done
Do not speak evil of the lord's annointed
Follow the prophet
When they are learned, they think they are wise and harken not unto the counsels of god
Lean not unto thine own understanding
Knowledge in the church is the most important kind
If you want to know about mormonism, ask a mormon
Don't read things that disagree with the church
Don't associate with apostates
People only leave the church because they're offended, because they want to sin, because they are weak
I hated going to church. I hated the banality, the repetition. I hated being spoon-fed the same thing when I craved knowledge, analysis, something more than the same things I had been hearing my whole life. I taught the women's class once: I have always been a teacher, and I am good at it. I didn't do anything radical, but maybe I was a bit too outspoken, a bit too analytical, a bit too interested in getting participation from others instead of letting them slip into the comfortable coma that is familiar to anyone who's sat through a mormon meeting. I was released from my calling before I could teach another.
Knowledge is good, but if it causes you to question, then satan can get you. Knowledge is good, as long as you don't ask too many questions. Knowledge is good, but bow to the will of your preisthood authority. Knowledge is good, but don't share it if it looks bad for the church. Knowledge is good, but keep it to yourself. Knowledge is good, but don't read books/websites that disagree with the church, that will cause you to fall away. Knowledge is good, but your testimony is so fragile.
At BYU, there were things that you couldn't talk about. Feminism, homosexuality, anti-mormonism, huge chunks of science, of analysis, of anything negative. Don't engage in fault-finding, don't be stiff-necked, brass-browed.
I was never one to control information, but I somehow made it make sense in my head: the fact that I could analyze for school but not the church. Never the church. Don't think too much about the church, because, after all, doesn't it feel right?
Knowledge is good, but make sure you you sit down and shut the fuck up.
Mormons believe that before we existed in the pre-existence (a Miltonion place where we all floated around in our endless being), we were all intelligences. Mormons who are accused of being anti-intellectual point to the church owned schools, the high level of education of their leaders, the scriptures that advocate you to "seek ye knowledge out of the best books." Mormons can give you any number of general conference talks that say that you should go to school, educate yourself, "children will never recover from the ignorance of their mothers." Etc, etc, ad nauseum.
The church has this very divided view on knowledge. On the one hand, knowledge is good. In the stairwell at the BYU library, there is a quote that says "search ye out of the best books." The church teaches that "the glory of god is intelligence." Boys (sometimes, but not often, girls) are encouraged to go to school and get an education. When Joseph Smith got the first vision, he did so because he "lacked wisdom" and so asked god.
At the same time, too much knowledge is bad. After all, who determines the "best" books? I was told when I was in grad school that I shouldn't read that which disagrees with the church. Like what? Archeology that says the earth is older than 6,000 years? Evolutionary works? There is, after all, a lot that disagrees with the church.
Knowledge is also placed in opposition to, and greater than, faith. When you bear testimony (the act of getting up in front of others who believe as you do, and reaffirm your mutually held beliefs, you always say you "know." I know that god lives, I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet, I know that Thomas S. Monson is the prophet today.
However, there is another side to the story (I have a very personal relationship with that other side. I couldn't read that which disagreed with the church for a full year after I decided church was not for me. The thought of reading things about the church that were not approved and correlated filled me with an inexplicable dread. I was literally made sick). Mormonism has always had an anti intellectual streak. A country mile wide streak.
It begins innocently enough: it begins with feelings. You are taught that good feelings equals god telling you it's good, and bad feelings is god telling you it's wrong. Or that good feeling is satan trying to pull you away, and bad feeling is godly guilt so that you can repent. From the time you are very little, you are taught that feeling trumps all, trumps fact and history and your brain and your soul. It doesn't matter that Joseph Smith was a lying pedophile: I feel that he was a true prophet of god. It doesn't matter that the fictionalized history of The Work and the Glory says NOTHING about the polygamy that was rampant in the church, and the lies and the struggles and the contradictions and the unhappy women and children resultant from horny men claiming revelation and god and holiness in their desire to bed multiple women: when I read the book, I feel good, so it must be true. This is the "I know" of mormonism.
That means that when you are presented with facts, facts that contradict your "knowledge" of the gospel, you feel bad. When presented with court documents of Joseph Smith being a convicted con man, you feel bad. When you read that all the "explanations" of polygamy are deeply flawed, you feel awful. When you research the Pearl of Great Price, and hear what Egyptologists say about it, you feel personally attacked. You feel your world coming apart. And that is just god's way of telling you that it is bad and untrue, and you should pray more and pay your tithing, and put all that disturbing stuff out of your mind.
I did. I did for a long time. I would defend the church. I believed that polygamy really didn't matter. I believed that my bishop knew better than I did. I believed my search for knowledge was going to lead me straight to hell. I believed that I was the problem, that I was a sinner for even daring to ask the questions.
Of course, my belief was reinforced by centuries of anti-intellectual reinforcement:
What is true is not always useful
The three greatest threats to the church are feminists, homosexuals, and so-called intellectuals
Once the prophet speaks, the thinking has been done
Do not speak evil of the lord's annointed
Follow the prophet
When they are learned, they think they are wise and harken not unto the counsels of god
Lean not unto thine own understanding
Knowledge in the church is the most important kind
If you want to know about mormonism, ask a mormon
Don't read things that disagree with the church
Don't associate with apostates
People only leave the church because they're offended, because they want to sin, because they are weak
I hated going to church. I hated the banality, the repetition. I hated being spoon-fed the same thing when I craved knowledge, analysis, something more than the same things I had been hearing my whole life. I taught the women's class once: I have always been a teacher, and I am good at it. I didn't do anything radical, but maybe I was a bit too outspoken, a bit too analytical, a bit too interested in getting participation from others instead of letting them slip into the comfortable coma that is familiar to anyone who's sat through a mormon meeting. I was released from my calling before I could teach another.
Knowledge is good, but if it causes you to question, then satan can get you. Knowledge is good, as long as you don't ask too many questions. Knowledge is good, but bow to the will of your preisthood authority. Knowledge is good, but don't share it if it looks bad for the church. Knowledge is good, but keep it to yourself. Knowledge is good, but don't read books/websites that disagree with the church, that will cause you to fall away. Knowledge is good, but your testimony is so fragile.
At BYU, there were things that you couldn't talk about. Feminism, homosexuality, anti-mormonism, huge chunks of science, of analysis, of anything negative. Don't engage in fault-finding, don't be stiff-necked, brass-browed.
I was never one to control information, but I somehow made it make sense in my head: the fact that I could analyze for school but not the church. Never the church. Don't think too much about the church, because, after all, doesn't it feel right?
Knowledge is good, but make sure you you sit down and shut the fuck up.
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