I think that teaching girls that they are less than boys is damaging. I think that putting all girls into a one-size-fits-all box creates a culture in which girls do not have all the knowledge and information that they should. I am not saying that the church doesn't do this to everyone accross the board. I'm not saying that the church doesn't have other damaging aspects. I'm not saying that the church is all bad for every female everywhere.
What I'm trying to do with this young women's series is demonstrate a systematic approach on the part of the church (whether it's conscious or unconscious, whether it's god directed, or man made) to delegate young women to a very specific role. The party line is that the church values women the same as men, that women might even be more righteous, that women can have a career and education.
I disagree. I don't think the practices or the materials of the church advocate a variety of values or lifestyles. I think it is constricting, and anyone who doesn't fall into the 'right' pattern is subject to self and institutional guilt.
Find the complete unaltered text here.
Elder M. Russell Ballard counseled, “Teachers would be well advised to study carefully the scriptures and their manuals before reaching out for supplemental materials. Far too many teachers seem to stray from the approved curriculum materials without fully reviewing them. If teachers feel a need to use some good supplemental resources beyond the scriptures and manuals in presenting a lesson, they should first consider the use of the Church magazines”
Of course, no manual would be complete without an admonition to not read other sources. The church is heavy into control of information; if you don't find what you need in the approved cirricula, you are not looking hard enough. And if you HAVE to go outside our counsel, use this pre-approved and carefully edited alternative.
Unit teaching involves repetition, in-depth study, and learning about related principles until they are understood and applied daily. They are serious about the repetition. You will learn how to be a better homemaker 20 times in the year.
Lessons:
Living as a Daughter of God
There is a song about being a daughter of god, admonishing that if we only remembered who we were, we would "walk tall" and "be strong," and other vaguely positive things. And if you are a daughter of god, you don't want to disappoint him; I imagine heavenly parental guilt is epic.
Fulfilling Women’s Divine Roles
Read: Motherhood. Be a wife and a mother. Your divine role is not to be self-actualized, it is not to be happy: your goal and path is wife and mother. Period. End of story.
Contributing to Family Life
Read: support your husband. Because you can't have a family if you are not a wife and mother. See above.
Learning about the Priesthood
...which is more important than anything you have. Woman are taught to read the male culture but not the other way around.
Sometimes a young woman may give the correct answer in her own words without turning to the passage of scripture. When this occurs, ask additional questions to get her to read the scripture; for example, “How did Paul say it?” or “What additional insights can we gain from this passage?” Before you can get the young women excited about searching the scriptures, you must become excited about them yourself. Prepare yourself through in-depth study, prayer, and meditation on those passages you expect class members to read and discuss.
This very nearly made me shit a brick. I checked the young men's manual, only to find nothing remotely similar. Make sure that the young woman knows that what she thinks, how SHE says things, is not as important as an authority greater than herself.
Lesson Application. This is a suggestion for a specific plan of action, assignment, or goal to help each young woman use the discussed principle in her life. (When appropriate, you could provide time at the beginning of the next class period for the young women to share their experiences. You may stimulate this brief exchange by saying, “Last week we talked about ______________. Did you try it? How did you feel about it?” If the young women do not respond at first, you may say, “I tried it, and this was my experience.” By sharing your positive experiences, you can help the young women learn how to apply the principles in their lives.)
Please help us to take this lesson and apply it in our daily lives....
The best way to help each young woman is to help her learn and live the gospel. President Marion G. Romney counseled: “Learning the gospel from the written word, however, is not enough. It must also be lived. As a matter of fact, getting a knowledge of the gospel and living it are interdependent. They go hand in hand. One cannot fully learn the gospel without living it. A knowledge of the gospel comes by degrees: one learns a little, obeys what he learns; learns a little more and obeys that. This cycle continues in an endless round. Such is the pattern by which one can move on to a full knowledge of the gospel” (“Records of Great Worth,” Ensign, Sept. 1980, p. 4).
Showing posts with label Young women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Young women. Show all posts
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Young womens values part 5: Choice and accountability
With my new-found atheist viewpoint, I find this value the most ironic. Perhaps the most foundational tenents of the gospel is obedience, be ye as a little child. Submit to god (read: the church) as a child submits to his father.
The idea of choice and accountability actually goes against practices in the church. THe church is designed to take those choices away from you: you make the choice to be in the church, and you never have to think about another decision ever again. The answers are already laid out. There is no extenuating circumstances that allow you to drink alcohol; no reason for you to drink coffee. You CANNOT be alone in a car with a member of the opposite sex from the ward (even if you are both grown-ass adults). Every decision possible has an answer; if you don't have an answer, consult your bishop, and he will get on his batphone to god and tell you what to do.
The church teaches it's members this polarized, absolutest value system, but follows a flexible, situational morality itself. Members are accountable to the extent that any given priesthood authority decides they are; the church, however, is infallible. Any "sinning" member will be brought before a court of love (read: kangaroo court) to be tried and sentenced, their eternal soul hanging in the balance. In this court, priesthood authorities can ask whatever questions they'd like, probe for more information, bring in any witness who recognizes their authority, confer, exclude the accused, ignore the accused, disregard proof, find someone guilty based on their discernment and the spirit that god gives them. That doesn't work both ways--members are not supposed to ask questions, look into the history, inquire, probe, test, analyze, read, study, draw conclusions based on evidence. I was told that facts don't convert you: the spirit converts you. You can't reason yourself into the church. I always heard (and said, god help me), "if I wasn't born into the church, I never would have converted. God knew me well enough to put me into the church so that I could be a believer and be saved."
Mormons are required to disclose financial information; the church hasn't disclosed finances for half a century. The church demands money from its members, but access to the church welfare system can be as fickle as the bishop's mood. The church feels free to take time, talents, money from its members, based on the needs of the church; members are not allowed to chose what works in their life and what doesn't.
The church teaches that one size fits all. There is one path, one way, one life. It's the straight and narrow, praying to god, following jesus' example. THere is no concession made for culture, situation, preference, learning styles, etc etc etc. The church points out that the church is the perfect democracy, discriminating against no one because everyone is treated the same. Or they are discriminating against everyone equally; I'm not sure this is a strong position to argue from. There is no choice, no catering to the needs of the people. The members are there for the church, for the spiritual/temporal needs of the church, not the other way around.
In the church, you can really turn your mind off. This has been the most apparent to me as I go back with my new perspective:
I am 22, called as the stake single's representative. I joke that it is because if it wasn't my calling, I wouldn't go. I hate it.
I walk into sacrament meeting, walk past the wooden benches filled with screaming kids, interchangeably blank women, men in their suits getting their back scratched by their loving wife/girlfriend. Kids pass notes or color or lay on the floor or glaze over at the monotony. I go to the raised stand, where only the bishopric regularly sits (if there is a woman on the stand, she is either there for a time-bound purpose like giving a talk, or she is the chorister or pianist. Men lead the meetings; women lead the music... under the direction of the men).
I sit down, and look out over the congregation, trying to catch someone's eye; it's harder than I expect. People tend to look anywhere but the speaker, do anything but listen. During my talk, all my jokes don't even get a courtesy laugh (apply your sin screen both regularly and liberally).
I sit in my young single adults class. The teachers are young and rich and righteous, displaying all the necessary children and financial success. He will eventually become a bishop. The answer to every question is pray or obey the prophet or read your scriptures or pay your tithing or listen to the spirit. It's a running joke in the church, that read your scriptures and go to church are always the answer; no one thinks about the disturbing implications of the undeniable pattern.
The answer is never to do things differently; the answer is to do it MORE. If you find the temple ceremony disturbing or uncomfortable, go do a session more often, every week until you get spiritual enlightenment from it. If you don't believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet, read the Book of Mormon until you do. If you don't believe in the prophet's mandate that you not watch rated R movies, don't watch rated R movies until you get a testimony of it. If you don't believe that your priesthood authorities can mandate your sexuality, accept their sexual mandates until you do believe it. "You will never get a testimony of something until you do it."
Thinking is not required in regurgitation, but there is nothing else required by the church. You don't even have to be able to articulate it; you just have to do it. It wasn't until I stopped paying my tithing that the church came to find me.
This follow the prophet mentality isn't something outdated; it is something that is taught in general conference every session:
Watson--
>>Sometimes we may not always be able to immediately find the desired way before us, but the wisdom of those who have gone before, coupled with the wisdom of those who are with us still, will be our guide if we let them have the reins.
>>Important admonition has been given in general conferences of yesteryear and will continue to be expounded by those who have the wisdom of ages past, which allows our hearts to burn within us. It will be in following such counsel that we must be strong, never give up, and endure to the end.
>>“You may not like what comes from the authority of the Church. It may contradict your political views . . . [or] your social views. It may interfere with some of your social life. But if [we] listen to these things, as if from the mouth of the Lord himself, with patience and faith, the promise is that . . . ‘the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory’.”
Teixeira--
>>like other faculties, our consciences may become inert through sin or misuse.9 If we become desensitized to the things of God in our lives, we too lose reception of the signal needed to guide us. Keeping the commandments is our best assurance to maintain a strong signal with the Divine.
>>as we abide by the teachings we have received, we will make good choices, we will not be lost, and we will reach our eternal home...
Stevenson--
>>As Church members, we have recently received counsel from modern-day prophets which, if followed, will turn the doors of our homes more fully towards the temple.
>>the Lord has established standards through His servants, the prophets.
Oaks--
>>Some say “I didn’t learn anything today” or “No one was friendly to me” or “I was offended” or “The Church is not filling my needs.” All those answers are self-centered, and all retard spiritual growth.
>>when anyone obtains any blessing from God, it is by obedience to the law on which that blessing is predicated.
Snow--
>>First, follow the prophets. Listen to and abide by the counsel of the Brethren. Prophets often raise a voice of warning but also provide steady, pragmatic counsel to help us weather the storms of life. In the opening section of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord reminds us, “Whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same” (D&C 1:38). Prophets help us confront the changes and challenges we constantly face. The popular Primary song “Follow the Prophet”reminds us of this important principle: “We can get direction all along our way, if we heed the prophets—follow what they say” (Children’s Songbook, 110).
Then mormons have the gall to say that mormons can think for themselves, that they are encouraged to pray and receive their own revelations. Mormons will tell you that there isn't an emphasis on following the prophets, that they make their OWN choices instead of the choices and decisions already laid out for them. Mormons will look right at me and say, "you think that the prophets try to dictate your decisions? Well, that's because you lost the spirit and you are wrong and an apostate. I make my own decisions."
Choice also plays into this elitist mindset (please see CTR posts here and here). Mormons believe that they are a choice people. Jews used to be chosen, but now that chosen status goes to the mormons. They are the best of the best, the generals of the war in heaven. If we could just remember who you were, you would never chose to sin.
Mormons don't see that their teachings about satan reflect very closely the practices of the church. Mormons see satan's great sin NOT as wanting to be like god (the great miltonion sin), but his desire to take away our choice. Satan wanted to MAKE us all obey god so we would all go back to heaven. This was unforgivable and satan was cast out.
There is one lesson that my father loves to teach. He calls a smart, punk-ass kid up and has him look at a pair of handcuffs. Asks the kid if he could get away. Smiling and scoffing for his friends, he says of course. Dad has the kid lay his hand in the cuffs; what about now? Yes. Dad half closes the cuffs. Now? Sure. Let's the metal touch metal surrounding the kids wrist. How about now? Yes. One click: now? Yeah. Another click: can you still get out? It might hurt a little, but yes. Dad slams the cuffs closed, and twists the kid's arm up behind him. Dad asks the crowd: when did I have him? Various answers are shouted from the crowd, and from the humbled kid trying not to whimper, trying to look tough while he is helpless. I had him when he chose to come up here.
That is how satan gets you. He is conniving, and he has you at your FIRST bad decision. Another object lesson involves the thread: same thing, just with wrapping thread around your hands, showing how after so many bad decisions, the sheer accumulation makes it impossible to escape. That's how addiction is evil: it takes away your decisions, mimics satan's plan. Satan is behind all addictions.
Yet mormons cannot see that same inability to choose inherent in my general conference quotes above, in their practices, in everything they do. The scriptures say that where two people get together in the name of god, god is in the midst of them; I say that wherever two or more mormons gather, there in the midst is an analysis-free zone, reflecting in the blankness in their eyes, the ability to not listen, but to say "pray and follow the prophet" when called upon for an answer.
The idea of choice and accountability actually goes against practices in the church. THe church is designed to take those choices away from you: you make the choice to be in the church, and you never have to think about another decision ever again. The answers are already laid out. There is no extenuating circumstances that allow you to drink alcohol; no reason for you to drink coffee. You CANNOT be alone in a car with a member of the opposite sex from the ward (even if you are both grown-ass adults). Every decision possible has an answer; if you don't have an answer, consult your bishop, and he will get on his batphone to god and tell you what to do.
The church teaches it's members this polarized, absolutest value system, but follows a flexible, situational morality itself. Members are accountable to the extent that any given priesthood authority decides they are; the church, however, is infallible. Any "sinning" member will be brought before a court of love (read: kangaroo court) to be tried and sentenced, their eternal soul hanging in the balance. In this court, priesthood authorities can ask whatever questions they'd like, probe for more information, bring in any witness who recognizes their authority, confer, exclude the accused, ignore the accused, disregard proof, find someone guilty based on their discernment and the spirit that god gives them. That doesn't work both ways--members are not supposed to ask questions, look into the history, inquire, probe, test, analyze, read, study, draw conclusions based on evidence. I was told that facts don't convert you: the spirit converts you. You can't reason yourself into the church. I always heard (and said, god help me), "if I wasn't born into the church, I never would have converted. God knew me well enough to put me into the church so that I could be a believer and be saved."
Mormons are required to disclose financial information; the church hasn't disclosed finances for half a century. The church demands money from its members, but access to the church welfare system can be as fickle as the bishop's mood. The church feels free to take time, talents, money from its members, based on the needs of the church; members are not allowed to chose what works in their life and what doesn't.
The church teaches that one size fits all. There is one path, one way, one life. It's the straight and narrow, praying to god, following jesus' example. THere is no concession made for culture, situation, preference, learning styles, etc etc etc. The church points out that the church is the perfect democracy, discriminating against no one because everyone is treated the same. Or they are discriminating against everyone equally; I'm not sure this is a strong position to argue from. There is no choice, no catering to the needs of the people. The members are there for the church, for the spiritual/temporal needs of the church, not the other way around.
In the church, you can really turn your mind off. This has been the most apparent to me as I go back with my new perspective:
I am 22, called as the stake single's representative. I joke that it is because if it wasn't my calling, I wouldn't go. I hate it.
I walk into sacrament meeting, walk past the wooden benches filled with screaming kids, interchangeably blank women, men in their suits getting their back scratched by their loving wife/girlfriend. Kids pass notes or color or lay on the floor or glaze over at the monotony. I go to the raised stand, where only the bishopric regularly sits (if there is a woman on the stand, she is either there for a time-bound purpose like giving a talk, or she is the chorister or pianist. Men lead the meetings; women lead the music... under the direction of the men).
I sit down, and look out over the congregation, trying to catch someone's eye; it's harder than I expect. People tend to look anywhere but the speaker, do anything but listen. During my talk, all my jokes don't even get a courtesy laugh (apply your sin screen both regularly and liberally).
I sit in my young single adults class. The teachers are young and rich and righteous, displaying all the necessary children and financial success. He will eventually become a bishop. The answer to every question is pray or obey the prophet or read your scriptures or pay your tithing or listen to the spirit. It's a running joke in the church, that read your scriptures and go to church are always the answer; no one thinks about the disturbing implications of the undeniable pattern.
The answer is never to do things differently; the answer is to do it MORE. If you find the temple ceremony disturbing or uncomfortable, go do a session more often, every week until you get spiritual enlightenment from it. If you don't believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet, read the Book of Mormon until you do. If you don't believe in the prophet's mandate that you not watch rated R movies, don't watch rated R movies until you get a testimony of it. If you don't believe that your priesthood authorities can mandate your sexuality, accept their sexual mandates until you do believe it. "You will never get a testimony of something until you do it."
Thinking is not required in regurgitation, but there is nothing else required by the church. You don't even have to be able to articulate it; you just have to do it. It wasn't until I stopped paying my tithing that the church came to find me.
This follow the prophet mentality isn't something outdated; it is something that is taught in general conference every session:
Watson--
>>Sometimes we may not always be able to immediately find the desired way before us, but the wisdom of those who have gone before, coupled with the wisdom of those who are with us still, will be our guide if we let them have the reins.
>>Important admonition has been given in general conferences of yesteryear and will continue to be expounded by those who have the wisdom of ages past, which allows our hearts to burn within us. It will be in following such counsel that we must be strong, never give up, and endure to the end.
>>“You may not like what comes from the authority of the Church. It may contradict your political views . . . [or] your social views. It may interfere with some of your social life. But if [we] listen to these things, as if from the mouth of the Lord himself, with patience and faith, the promise is that . . . ‘the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory’.”
Teixeira--
>>like other faculties, our consciences may become inert through sin or misuse.9 If we become desensitized to the things of God in our lives, we too lose reception of the signal needed to guide us. Keeping the commandments is our best assurance to maintain a strong signal with the Divine.
>>as we abide by the teachings we have received, we will make good choices, we will not be lost, and we will reach our eternal home...
Stevenson--
>>As Church members, we have recently received counsel from modern-day prophets which, if followed, will turn the doors of our homes more fully towards the temple.
>>the Lord has established standards through His servants, the prophets.
Oaks--
>>Some say “I didn’t learn anything today” or “No one was friendly to me” or “I was offended” or “The Church is not filling my needs.” All those answers are self-centered, and all retard spiritual growth.
>>when anyone obtains any blessing from God, it is by obedience to the law on which that blessing is predicated.
Snow--
>>First, follow the prophets. Listen to and abide by the counsel of the Brethren. Prophets often raise a voice of warning but also provide steady, pragmatic counsel to help us weather the storms of life. In the opening section of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord reminds us, “Whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same” (D&C 1:38). Prophets help us confront the changes and challenges we constantly face. The popular Primary song “Follow the Prophet”reminds us of this important principle: “We can get direction all along our way, if we heed the prophets—follow what they say” (Children’s Songbook, 110).
Then mormons have the gall to say that mormons can think for themselves, that they are encouraged to pray and receive their own revelations. Mormons will tell you that there isn't an emphasis on following the prophets, that they make their OWN choices instead of the choices and decisions already laid out for them. Mormons will look right at me and say, "you think that the prophets try to dictate your decisions? Well, that's because you lost the spirit and you are wrong and an apostate. I make my own decisions."
Choice also plays into this elitist mindset (please see CTR posts here and here). Mormons believe that they are a choice people. Jews used to be chosen, but now that chosen status goes to the mormons. They are the best of the best, the generals of the war in heaven. If we could just remember who you were, you would never chose to sin.
Mormons don't see that their teachings about satan reflect very closely the practices of the church. Mormons see satan's great sin NOT as wanting to be like god (the great miltonion sin), but his desire to take away our choice. Satan wanted to MAKE us all obey god so we would all go back to heaven. This was unforgivable and satan was cast out.
There is one lesson that my father loves to teach. He calls a smart, punk-ass kid up and has him look at a pair of handcuffs. Asks the kid if he could get away. Smiling and scoffing for his friends, he says of course. Dad has the kid lay his hand in the cuffs; what about now? Yes. Dad half closes the cuffs. Now? Sure. Let's the metal touch metal surrounding the kids wrist. How about now? Yes. One click: now? Yeah. Another click: can you still get out? It might hurt a little, but yes. Dad slams the cuffs closed, and twists the kid's arm up behind him. Dad asks the crowd: when did I have him? Various answers are shouted from the crowd, and from the humbled kid trying not to whimper, trying to look tough while he is helpless. I had him when he chose to come up here.
That is how satan gets you. He is conniving, and he has you at your FIRST bad decision. Another object lesson involves the thread: same thing, just with wrapping thread around your hands, showing how after so many bad decisions, the sheer accumulation makes it impossible to escape. That's how addiction is evil: it takes away your decisions, mimics satan's plan. Satan is behind all addictions.
Yet mormons cannot see that same inability to choose inherent in my general conference quotes above, in their practices, in everything they do. The scriptures say that where two people get together in the name of god, god is in the midst of them; I say that wherever two or more mormons gather, there in the midst is an analysis-free zone, reflecting in the blankness in their eyes, the ability to not listen, but to say "pray and follow the prophet" when called upon for an answer.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Young womens values part 4: Knowledge
The glory of god is intelligence.
Mormons believe that before we existed in the pre-existence (a Miltonion place where we all floated around in our endless being), we were all intelligences. Mormons who are accused of being anti-intellectual point to the church owned schools, the high level of education of their leaders, the scriptures that advocate you to "seek ye knowledge out of the best books." Mormons can give you any number of general conference talks that say that you should go to school, educate yourself, "children will never recover from the ignorance of their mothers." Etc, etc, ad nauseum.
The church has this very divided view on knowledge. On the one hand, knowledge is good. In the stairwell at the BYU library, there is a quote that says "search ye out of the best books." The church teaches that "the glory of god is intelligence." Boys (sometimes, but not often, girls) are encouraged to go to school and get an education. When Joseph Smith got the first vision, he did so because he "lacked wisdom" and so asked god.
At the same time, too much knowledge is bad. After all, who determines the "best" books? I was told when I was in grad school that I shouldn't read that which disagrees with the church. Like what? Archeology that says the earth is older than 6,000 years? Evolutionary works? There is, after all, a lot that disagrees with the church.
Knowledge is also placed in opposition to, and greater than, faith. When you bear testimony (the act of getting up in front of others who believe as you do, and reaffirm your mutually held beliefs, you always say you "know." I know that god lives, I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet, I know that Thomas S. Monson is the prophet today.
However, there is another side to the story (I have a very personal relationship with that other side. I couldn't read that which disagreed with the church for a full year after I decided church was not for me. The thought of reading things about the church that were not approved and correlated filled me with an inexplicable dread. I was literally made sick). Mormonism has always had an anti intellectual streak. A country mile wide streak.
It begins innocently enough: it begins with feelings. You are taught that good feelings equals god telling you it's good, and bad feelings is god telling you it's wrong. Or that good feeling is satan trying to pull you away, and bad feeling is godly guilt so that you can repent. From the time you are very little, you are taught that feeling trumps all, trumps fact and history and your brain and your soul. It doesn't matter that Joseph Smith was a lying pedophile: I feel that he was a true prophet of god. It doesn't matter that the fictionalized history of The Work and the Glory says NOTHING about the polygamy that was rampant in the church, and the lies and the struggles and the contradictions and the unhappy women and children resultant from horny men claiming revelation and god and holiness in their desire to bed multiple women: when I read the book, I feel good, so it must be true. This is the "I know" of mormonism.
That means that when you are presented with facts, facts that contradict your "knowledge" of the gospel, you feel bad. When presented with court documents of Joseph Smith being a convicted con man, you feel bad. When you read that all the "explanations" of polygamy are deeply flawed, you feel awful. When you research the Pearl of Great Price, and hear what Egyptologists say about it, you feel personally attacked. You feel your world coming apart. And that is just god's way of telling you that it is bad and untrue, and you should pray more and pay your tithing, and put all that disturbing stuff out of your mind.
I did. I did for a long time. I would defend the church. I believed that polygamy really didn't matter. I believed that my bishop knew better than I did. I believed my search for knowledge was going to lead me straight to hell. I believed that I was the problem, that I was a sinner for even daring to ask the questions.
Of course, my belief was reinforced by centuries of anti-intellectual reinforcement:
What is true is not always useful
The three greatest threats to the church are feminists, homosexuals, and so-called intellectuals
Once the prophet speaks, the thinking has been done
Do not speak evil of the lord's annointed
Follow the prophet
When they are learned, they think they are wise and harken not unto the counsels of god
Lean not unto thine own understanding
Knowledge in the church is the most important kind
If you want to know about mormonism, ask a mormon
Don't read things that disagree with the church
Don't associate with apostates
People only leave the church because they're offended, because they want to sin, because they are weak
I hated going to church. I hated the banality, the repetition. I hated being spoon-fed the same thing when I craved knowledge, analysis, something more than the same things I had been hearing my whole life. I taught the women's class once: I have always been a teacher, and I am good at it. I didn't do anything radical, but maybe I was a bit too outspoken, a bit too analytical, a bit too interested in getting participation from others instead of letting them slip into the comfortable coma that is familiar to anyone who's sat through a mormon meeting. I was released from my calling before I could teach another.
Knowledge is good, but if it causes you to question, then satan can get you. Knowledge is good, as long as you don't ask too many questions. Knowledge is good, but bow to the will of your preisthood authority. Knowledge is good, but don't share it if it looks bad for the church. Knowledge is good, but keep it to yourself. Knowledge is good, but don't read books/websites that disagree with the church, that will cause you to fall away. Knowledge is good, but your testimony is so fragile.
At BYU, there were things that you couldn't talk about. Feminism, homosexuality, anti-mormonism, huge chunks of science, of analysis, of anything negative. Don't engage in fault-finding, don't be stiff-necked, brass-browed.
I was never one to control information, but I somehow made it make sense in my head: the fact that I could analyze for school but not the church. Never the church. Don't think too much about the church, because, after all, doesn't it feel right?
Knowledge is good, but make sure you you sit down and shut the fuck up.
Mormons believe that before we existed in the pre-existence (a Miltonion place where we all floated around in our endless being), we were all intelligences. Mormons who are accused of being anti-intellectual point to the church owned schools, the high level of education of their leaders, the scriptures that advocate you to "seek ye knowledge out of the best books." Mormons can give you any number of general conference talks that say that you should go to school, educate yourself, "children will never recover from the ignorance of their mothers." Etc, etc, ad nauseum.
The church has this very divided view on knowledge. On the one hand, knowledge is good. In the stairwell at the BYU library, there is a quote that says "search ye out of the best books." The church teaches that "the glory of god is intelligence." Boys (sometimes, but not often, girls) are encouraged to go to school and get an education. When Joseph Smith got the first vision, he did so because he "lacked wisdom" and so asked god.
At the same time, too much knowledge is bad. After all, who determines the "best" books? I was told when I was in grad school that I shouldn't read that which disagrees with the church. Like what? Archeology that says the earth is older than 6,000 years? Evolutionary works? There is, after all, a lot that disagrees with the church.
Knowledge is also placed in opposition to, and greater than, faith. When you bear testimony (the act of getting up in front of others who believe as you do, and reaffirm your mutually held beliefs, you always say you "know." I know that god lives, I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet, I know that Thomas S. Monson is the prophet today.
However, there is another side to the story (I have a very personal relationship with that other side. I couldn't read that which disagreed with the church for a full year after I decided church was not for me. The thought of reading things about the church that were not approved and correlated filled me with an inexplicable dread. I was literally made sick). Mormonism has always had an anti intellectual streak. A country mile wide streak.
It begins innocently enough: it begins with feelings. You are taught that good feelings equals god telling you it's good, and bad feelings is god telling you it's wrong. Or that good feeling is satan trying to pull you away, and bad feeling is godly guilt so that you can repent. From the time you are very little, you are taught that feeling trumps all, trumps fact and history and your brain and your soul. It doesn't matter that Joseph Smith was a lying pedophile: I feel that he was a true prophet of god. It doesn't matter that the fictionalized history of The Work and the Glory says NOTHING about the polygamy that was rampant in the church, and the lies and the struggles and the contradictions and the unhappy women and children resultant from horny men claiming revelation and god and holiness in their desire to bed multiple women: when I read the book, I feel good, so it must be true. This is the "I know" of mormonism.
That means that when you are presented with facts, facts that contradict your "knowledge" of the gospel, you feel bad. When presented with court documents of Joseph Smith being a convicted con man, you feel bad. When you read that all the "explanations" of polygamy are deeply flawed, you feel awful. When you research the Pearl of Great Price, and hear what Egyptologists say about it, you feel personally attacked. You feel your world coming apart. And that is just god's way of telling you that it is bad and untrue, and you should pray more and pay your tithing, and put all that disturbing stuff out of your mind.
I did. I did for a long time. I would defend the church. I believed that polygamy really didn't matter. I believed that my bishop knew better than I did. I believed my search for knowledge was going to lead me straight to hell. I believed that I was the problem, that I was a sinner for even daring to ask the questions.
Of course, my belief was reinforced by centuries of anti-intellectual reinforcement:
What is true is not always useful
The three greatest threats to the church are feminists, homosexuals, and so-called intellectuals
Once the prophet speaks, the thinking has been done
Do not speak evil of the lord's annointed
Follow the prophet
When they are learned, they think they are wise and harken not unto the counsels of god
Lean not unto thine own understanding
Knowledge in the church is the most important kind
If you want to know about mormonism, ask a mormon
Don't read things that disagree with the church
Don't associate with apostates
People only leave the church because they're offended, because they want to sin, because they are weak
I hated going to church. I hated the banality, the repetition. I hated being spoon-fed the same thing when I craved knowledge, analysis, something more than the same things I had been hearing my whole life. I taught the women's class once: I have always been a teacher, and I am good at it. I didn't do anything radical, but maybe I was a bit too outspoken, a bit too analytical, a bit too interested in getting participation from others instead of letting them slip into the comfortable coma that is familiar to anyone who's sat through a mormon meeting. I was released from my calling before I could teach another.
Knowledge is good, but if it causes you to question, then satan can get you. Knowledge is good, as long as you don't ask too many questions. Knowledge is good, but bow to the will of your preisthood authority. Knowledge is good, but don't share it if it looks bad for the church. Knowledge is good, but keep it to yourself. Knowledge is good, but don't read books/websites that disagree with the church, that will cause you to fall away. Knowledge is good, but your testimony is so fragile.
At BYU, there were things that you couldn't talk about. Feminism, homosexuality, anti-mormonism, huge chunks of science, of analysis, of anything negative. Don't engage in fault-finding, don't be stiff-necked, brass-browed.
I was never one to control information, but I somehow made it make sense in my head: the fact that I could analyze for school but not the church. Never the church. Don't think too much about the church, because, after all, doesn't it feel right?
Knowledge is good, but make sure you you sit down and shut the fuck up.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Young womens values part 3: Individual worth
Worth in the mormon church is evaluated in very specific ways. Worthiness is evaluated yearly and sometimes more often.
I am 12, excited to go to the temple for the first time. Finally I get to do baptisms for the dead. I have to get a recommend so I sign up for an interview. I wait in the hallway of the church with the other pre-teens, all nervous, all restless, all confused and hormonal and crazy, as we are one-by-one collected into the bishop's office.
I don't know the bishop. I know his daughters, who are all stuck up. I know that my 16 year old sister doesn't like him, but she doesn't like anyone who tells her what to do. I know that he is a pharmacist. I know that he is at the church every night, and all day Sunday.
Finally, it is my turn. The bishop is running late, so I am going to have to beg a ride home again. The office is small and cheerless, dominated by an enormous dark desk flanked by two tall file cabinets. I imagine him at the grocery store, looking down on people from the pharmacy. He is looking down on me now over his wire glasses. I sit in the chair in front of his desk, my feet not touching the mauve carpet.
He asks me to offer an opening prayer. I say something banal about getting home in safety. As he starts the interview, I can see his impossibly long legs splayed under the desk, his suit pants just a little too short. As he fixes his gaze on me, I remember all the stories I know about the power of discernment, and how god tells the bishop if you lie. Lying to the bishop is lying to god himself. The bishop is your friend. I squirm uncomfortably.
The questions start out simply enough. Do you believe in god, and his son jesus christ? Do you believe that Joseph Smith restored the one true church to the earth? Do you sustain your priesthood leaders? Yes, yes, yes.
Then came the serious questions: do you obey the commandments? do you follow the word of wisdom? do you obey the law of chastity? I remember lessons about moral purity in things like petting and necking. I wonder what pleasure is derived from putting your necks together. I say I keep the law of chastity. I'd know if I were petting, right?
I hope desperately that he won't ask about touching myself, which I definitely do. I have heard that he only asks the boys. He doesn't ask me directly, but he looks at me severely: if there is anything you need to repent of, confession to the bishop is a necessary part of the repentance process. Do you know the steps of repentance? I force a smile, repeating the steps, and wonder again about the discernment.
He says the closing prayer, blessing that I will be diligent and obedient. I walk back into the hall with his signature, my pass into the temple, into the house of the lord. No unclean thing can enter.
I wonder fervently if I am unclean. I don't know the word masturbation, but I know from the lessons in church that I am doing wrong. I wonder if repenting to god is enough, but I keep running into the correct, true list of repentance:
1. Sorrow
2. Confession
3. Ask forgiveness
4. Restitution
5. Promise to never do it again
I confessed to god, but it is clear at church that confession is to the bishop. I ask god but the heavens are silent.
If you repent, but do it again, failing in step 5, all those past sins you confessed for come back. I always fail at step 2 and 5. But I dread not being able to take the sacrament. My whole family would know. I dread the public shame and resolve, again, to keep my hands off myself, and contemplate how many sins have come back to me at my last slip up. Rumor had it that the temple workers had the power of discernment as well. I hope I won't get kicked out. Six months to my birthday and the next worthiness interview.
I am 12, excited to go to the temple for the first time. Finally I get to do baptisms for the dead. I have to get a recommend so I sign up for an interview. I wait in the hallway of the church with the other pre-teens, all nervous, all restless, all confused and hormonal and crazy, as we are one-by-one collected into the bishop's office.
I don't know the bishop. I know his daughters, who are all stuck up. I know that my 16 year old sister doesn't like him, but she doesn't like anyone who tells her what to do. I know that he is a pharmacist. I know that he is at the church every night, and all day Sunday.
Finally, it is my turn. The bishop is running late, so I am going to have to beg a ride home again. The office is small and cheerless, dominated by an enormous dark desk flanked by two tall file cabinets. I imagine him at the grocery store, looking down on people from the pharmacy. He is looking down on me now over his wire glasses. I sit in the chair in front of his desk, my feet not touching the mauve carpet.
He asks me to offer an opening prayer. I say something banal about getting home in safety. As he starts the interview, I can see his impossibly long legs splayed under the desk, his suit pants just a little too short. As he fixes his gaze on me, I remember all the stories I know about the power of discernment, and how god tells the bishop if you lie. Lying to the bishop is lying to god himself. The bishop is your friend. I squirm uncomfortably.
The questions start out simply enough. Do you believe in god, and his son jesus christ? Do you believe that Joseph Smith restored the one true church to the earth? Do you sustain your priesthood leaders? Yes, yes, yes.
Then came the serious questions: do you obey the commandments? do you follow the word of wisdom? do you obey the law of chastity? I remember lessons about moral purity in things like petting and necking. I wonder what pleasure is derived from putting your necks together. I say I keep the law of chastity. I'd know if I were petting, right?
I hope desperately that he won't ask about touching myself, which I definitely do. I have heard that he only asks the boys. He doesn't ask me directly, but he looks at me severely: if there is anything you need to repent of, confession to the bishop is a necessary part of the repentance process. Do you know the steps of repentance? I force a smile, repeating the steps, and wonder again about the discernment.
He says the closing prayer, blessing that I will be diligent and obedient. I walk back into the hall with his signature, my pass into the temple, into the house of the lord. No unclean thing can enter.
I wonder fervently if I am unclean. I don't know the word masturbation, but I know from the lessons in church that I am doing wrong. I wonder if repenting to god is enough, but I keep running into the correct, true list of repentance:
1. Sorrow
2. Confession
3. Ask forgiveness
4. Restitution
5. Promise to never do it again
I confessed to god, but it is clear at church that confession is to the bishop. I ask god but the heavens are silent.
If you repent, but do it again, failing in step 5, all those past sins you confessed for come back. I always fail at step 2 and 5. But I dread not being able to take the sacrament. My whole family would know. I dread the public shame and resolve, again, to keep my hands off myself, and contemplate how many sins have come back to me at my last slip up. Rumor had it that the temple workers had the power of discernment as well. I hope I won't get kicked out. Six months to my birthday and the next worthiness interview.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Young women theme
I have an ongoing series about the young women values, but I have not actually introduced the topic. Bad writer, bad bad. So, the mormon church is enamored of lists, especially for the young people. You have lists of goals to do, goals accomplished, all carefully correlated and neatly packaged. You have lists of tasks:
Sunday meetings 3-5 hours
Wednesday mutual 2 hours
Friday dances 3 hours
Firesides 2 hours
You have lists that you write for qualities you want in your eternal companion, topped by a strong testimony in the church and a willingness to follow the prophet. Lists all provide information about eternal progression but cannot measure or dictate internal spirituality. However, these lists are for everyone. Everyone must do the same things in the right order to be saved.
One of those lists is the young women's theme, chanted every week in wards throughout the world. The fact that it is chanted, not read, takes away the need or ability to think about it or analyze it. All the young women, ages 12-18, stand together, and repeat together the theme. This next bit is taken from the church's website:
Young Women Theme
The Young Women theme helps each young woman understand her identity, purpose, and destiny as a daughter of God. Young women and their leaders repeat the theme during Sunday opening exercises and at other Young Women gatherings. Additional words or themes repeated in conjunction with the theme are not necessary or appropriate.
We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.
We will "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things,
and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live
the Young Women values, which are:
Faith
Divine Nature
Individual Worth
Knowledge
Choice and Accountability
Good Works
Integrity and
Virtue.
We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values,
we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants,
receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.
Notice the church's own preface says that additions are not necessary and should not be a part of it. My young women's posts are taking each of these values, and the new one virtue, and examining what young women are being taught and how I think these values are destructive in the lives of the members.
Retrospectively, the chanting of the theme really creeps me out. I remember that I had it memorized before I even went to young women's. My older sister had a poster of it in her room, and I would lay on her bed, and look at the poster from my unique-upside-down angle and read it over and over. When I finally went to young women's I didn't need to read it, I never tripped up. I repeated it loudly and proudly, pausing and breathing at all the right moments.
Now I see that chanting impedes thought. Rote learning and memorization has nothing to do with analysis, with critical thinking. And chanting also reinforces group think and conformity. If someone is off step with the repetition, the overwhelming majority will get them back on track. When you chant, you breathe in unison. There is a tug, a cadence, a pattern, and you are in line with it, or you don't exist. Dissenting voices cannot be heard (which seems to be an overarching theme of the church itself).
The conformity, the group identity is reinforced by the words themselves. WE are daughters (collective we. No individual relationship sought or condoned. Daughters collective, also presents women in a subservient role as both woman and child) of our heavenly father (not only an authority in the family, but a cosmic authority) who loves us and we love him (ethos argument, appeal to emotions. This is how you interpret the religion, spirituality through emotions, what feels right) We will (firm future, collective backed up by other mormons) stand as witnesses of god (other witnesses from the book of mormon. The job description of witnesses seems heavy, but in practice, there is equivocation. The "witnesses" of the book of mormon and the gold plates said they saw a vision with their spiritual eyes. How much of a witness is that? Members believe that the prophet talks with god face to face, but the present prophets never say that, equivocating under the guise of "it's too sacred to talk about," the same equivocation that makes the masonic temple rites secret. Prophet's witness of god is no more than the testimony warm fuzzy feelings of the average member) at all times and in all things and in all places (by quoting scripture here, you are invoking a deity. It is the fallacy of authority. Perfection is expected and there is no room for failure. Expectations are all encompassing. Members are commanded not to equivocate) as we strive (again with the collective effort, collective salvation. I remember a lesson that pictured members of the church as mountain climbers tied together: one falls, we all fall. We can't go on with inactives. We are saved together. Reactivation of failing members, hunting down those who have strayed is absolutely necessary) to live the young women values (internalization, everything at church must be followed. Young women values should become an active part of your life, something not just repeated, but lived).
Sunday meetings 3-5 hours
Wednesday mutual 2 hours
Friday dances 3 hours
Firesides 2 hours
You have lists that you write for qualities you want in your eternal companion, topped by a strong testimony in the church and a willingness to follow the prophet. Lists all provide information about eternal progression but cannot measure or dictate internal spirituality. However, these lists are for everyone. Everyone must do the same things in the right order to be saved.
One of those lists is the young women's theme, chanted every week in wards throughout the world. The fact that it is chanted, not read, takes away the need or ability to think about it or analyze it. All the young women, ages 12-18, stand together, and repeat together the theme. This next bit is taken from the church's website:
Young Women Theme
The Young Women theme helps each young woman understand her identity, purpose, and destiny as a daughter of God. Young women and their leaders repeat the theme during Sunday opening exercises and at other Young Women gatherings. Additional words or themes repeated in conjunction with the theme are not necessary or appropriate.
We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.
We will "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things,
and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live
the Young Women values, which are:
Faith
Divine Nature
Individual Worth
Knowledge
Choice and Accountability
Good Works
Integrity and
Virtue.
We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values,
we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants,
receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.
Notice the church's own preface says that additions are not necessary and should not be a part of it. My young women's posts are taking each of these values, and the new one virtue, and examining what young women are being taught and how I think these values are destructive in the lives of the members.
Retrospectively, the chanting of the theme really creeps me out. I remember that I had it memorized before I even went to young women's. My older sister had a poster of it in her room, and I would lay on her bed, and look at the poster from my unique-upside-down angle and read it over and over. When I finally went to young women's I didn't need to read it, I never tripped up. I repeated it loudly and proudly, pausing and breathing at all the right moments.
Now I see that chanting impedes thought. Rote learning and memorization has nothing to do with analysis, with critical thinking. And chanting also reinforces group think and conformity. If someone is off step with the repetition, the overwhelming majority will get them back on track. When you chant, you breathe in unison. There is a tug, a cadence, a pattern, and you are in line with it, or you don't exist. Dissenting voices cannot be heard (which seems to be an overarching theme of the church itself).
The conformity, the group identity is reinforced by the words themselves. WE are daughters (collective we. No individual relationship sought or condoned. Daughters collective, also presents women in a subservient role as both woman and child) of our heavenly father (not only an authority in the family, but a cosmic authority) who loves us and we love him (ethos argument, appeal to emotions. This is how you interpret the religion, spirituality through emotions, what feels right) We will (firm future, collective backed up by other mormons) stand as witnesses of god (other witnesses from the book of mormon. The job description of witnesses seems heavy, but in practice, there is equivocation. The "witnesses" of the book of mormon and the gold plates said they saw a vision with their spiritual eyes. How much of a witness is that? Members believe that the prophet talks with god face to face, but the present prophets never say that, equivocating under the guise of "it's too sacred to talk about," the same equivocation that makes the masonic temple rites secret. Prophet's witness of god is no more than the testimony warm fuzzy feelings of the average member) at all times and in all things and in all places (by quoting scripture here, you are invoking a deity. It is the fallacy of authority. Perfection is expected and there is no room for failure. Expectations are all encompassing. Members are commanded not to equivocate) as we strive (again with the collective effort, collective salvation. I remember a lesson that pictured members of the church as mountain climbers tied together: one falls, we all fall. We can't go on with inactives. We are saved together. Reactivation of failing members, hunting down those who have strayed is absolutely necessary) to live the young women values (internalization, everything at church must be followed. Young women values should become an active part of your life, something not just repeated, but lived).
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Young women values part 2: Divine nature
Mormons are told that they are children of their father in heaven, that they are the most righteous children of heavenly father. They are told that they have the ability, nay the responsibility, to become like him. Mormons are "gods in embryo," and thru righteousness, they can expand in power and glory until they become gods.
With girls, it is a little different. Girls are divine too, have the ability to become... well... hmm... There is a heavenly mother, but girls are not encouraged to be like her. Girls are not encouraged, and actively discouraged, from learning, talking, feeling about her. Heavenly mother is apparently too holy, to sacred, to be sullied by our words or touch. God loves his wife (wives?) so much that he won't even allow us to speak her name.
It is also the consensus that the power of god is the priesthood, that it will be the men off creating worlds, setting new tests for their new worlds, sacrificing an innocent son after the perfect pattern of Jesus Christ, sending plagues and sufferings, teaching their children a lesson, cultivating someone to play devil so that righteous purposes can be brought about.
Women, the ruling queens, the goddesses, will be with their sister wives (the first 5 prophets of the church said that you have to have at least 3 wives to get into heaven. It is what "celestial marriage" and the temple and the garment is all about. How can we trust Joseph Smith on everything else but disregard everything he taught about polygamy?) having endless babies. After all, those spirit babies don't incubate themselves.
So, a girl's divine nature is to be silent, child-bearing, and her own children cannot even SPEAK of her, on pain of excommunication.
With girls, it is a little different. Girls are divine too, have the ability to become... well... hmm... There is a heavenly mother, but girls are not encouraged to be like her. Girls are not encouraged, and actively discouraged, from learning, talking, feeling about her. Heavenly mother is apparently too holy, to sacred, to be sullied by our words or touch. God loves his wife (wives?) so much that he won't even allow us to speak her name.
It is also the consensus that the power of god is the priesthood, that it will be the men off creating worlds, setting new tests for their new worlds, sacrificing an innocent son after the perfect pattern of Jesus Christ, sending plagues and sufferings, teaching their children a lesson, cultivating someone to play devil so that righteous purposes can be brought about.
Women, the ruling queens, the goddesses, will be with their sister wives (the first 5 prophets of the church said that you have to have at least 3 wives to get into heaven. It is what "celestial marriage" and the temple and the garment is all about. How can we trust Joseph Smith on everything else but disregard everything he taught about polygamy?) having endless babies. After all, those spirit babies don't incubate themselves.
So, a girl's divine nature is to be silent, child-bearing, and her own children cannot even SPEAK of her, on pain of excommunication.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Young women values part 1: Faith
"Faith is belief in things which are not seen, but which are true." --Bible dictionary
In my college class, I taught freshmen about begging the question. Contrary to popular belief, it does not mean "it's as if the issue is begging us to ask this question!" It means a circular logic, a conclusion inherent in one or more of the premises.
I remember sitting in my mia maid class, discussing faith. The teacher said that we could not have faith in things like UFOs, because it's simply not true. Faith is belief in things which are not seen, but which are true. I tried to argue that if UFO fanatics believed it was true, than it was still faith. My teacher was a bit upset with me as I argued the definition, and she assured me that faith can only be in true invisible things, like god.
We also discussed how we could not have faith if we had a perfect knowledge. The prophets no longer had faith in god because they had a personal knowledge of him. I was also told on a number of occasions that the reason there is not incontrovertible proof for the Book of Mormon is because then god would take away faith from us. It is necessary for us to believe WITHOUT that knowledge. "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed." The act of faith without knowledge is necessary for our salvation, a kind of benevolent gnosticism.
Faith is belief in things which are not seen, things like history, things like the testimony of others. Faith that Joseph Smith is a prophet, faith that the Book of Mormon is true. These are the two most important cornerstones of our religion. Invisible but true. The problem is the church asks more: belief in things which are not seen and demonstrably false. The Book of Mormon can be proven false on several different fronts, linguistic, historical, biological. Joseph Smith has been proven dishonest, misleading, and self-serving. So, faith is irrational belief in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence.
In my college class, I taught freshmen about begging the question. Contrary to popular belief, it does not mean "it's as if the issue is begging us to ask this question!" It means a circular logic, a conclusion inherent in one or more of the premises.
I remember sitting in my mia maid class, discussing faith. The teacher said that we could not have faith in things like UFOs, because it's simply not true. Faith is belief in things which are not seen, but which are true. I tried to argue that if UFO fanatics believed it was true, than it was still faith. My teacher was a bit upset with me as I argued the definition, and she assured me that faith can only be in true invisible things, like god.
We also discussed how we could not have faith if we had a perfect knowledge. The prophets no longer had faith in god because they had a personal knowledge of him. I was also told on a number of occasions that the reason there is not incontrovertible proof for the Book of Mormon is because then god would take away faith from us. It is necessary for us to believe WITHOUT that knowledge. "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed." The act of faith without knowledge is necessary for our salvation, a kind of benevolent gnosticism.
Faith is belief in things which are not seen, things like history, things like the testimony of others. Faith that Joseph Smith is a prophet, faith that the Book of Mormon is true. These are the two most important cornerstones of our religion. Invisible but true. The problem is the church asks more: belief in things which are not seen and demonstrably false. The Book of Mormon can be proven false on several different fronts, linguistic, historical, biological. Joseph Smith has been proven dishonest, misleading, and self-serving. So, faith is irrational belief in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence.
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