Polygamy: Take II

There is a lot of disagreement in the church about what polygamy is, how it should be practiced, whether or not it was righteous, if it is for everyone (see here and here)

There is a reason that of questioners of mormonism, it is the women who are hit the hardest by polygamy. Men overwhelmingly are not bothered by the doctrine of polygamy: they don't mind that for the first 70-80 years of the church, polygamy was preached as absolutely necessary to exaltation. Many men think "why would a man want the headache of more than one wife, and the accompanying jealousy, infighting, backbiting, etc." So they can disagree with polygamy on principle, but not beyond that.

Women, on the other hand, feel polygamy on a visceral level. Women can empathize with other women being put in a situation where they HAD to bow to their husbands to such a degree that they had to share him, not question the nights when he slept with his other wives, work within a vicious hierarchy, operate under the knowledge that they could be "given" to other men if deemed necessary or appropriate by the "prophet." Even good faithful mormon women don't think about polygamy more than absolutely required (correlation helps with this: no one talks about polygamy, so no one has to think about polygamy). I have heard faithful mormon women say that they are grateful that polygamy isn't something that is required of them, and if it were, god would strengthen them.

On online support groups, men who are trying to get sympathy from believing wives are always advised to push the polygamy issue. Nearly every woman, no matter how believing she is, can get riled up about the blatant disregard of women's rights, and/or feelings. Men are generally convinced by logical arguments about the historicy of the Book of Mormon, or something equally logical.

It just really bothers me that the church doesn't talk about it, and because they don't, there is no consensus on any of these issues. You can't even talk about it because mormons can always come back with "that's not right. That's not what we believe." And you can't really argue it, because NO ONE knows what is mormon doctrine, not even the mormons.

I just wish the church would be clear, so that tearing it apart would be that much easier. Maybe the fact that nothing that they believe is clear proves that it is not true; who wants to follow a god who is confused about what his people should believe?